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Last year in summer 2022 I completed my A-Level examinations. Throughout the summer I tried to suppress my worries and anxiety for results day, however on some days these emotions came out in my behaviour. When results day came I felt unhappy with some of my results and very lost as I was unsure what course I wanted to apply for during my gap year. This resulted in me isolating myself from friends and family and heavily affected my relationship with my mum (which in itself had issues already) and we had both been dealing with the situation different ways.

A couple weeks after, my mum told me that she was offered life coaching by Dr Munita at work, and that we should try this together to help with our relationship.

Then a week later, we began our life coaching journey which so far has been the most positive experience for changing myself and identifying the deep rooted issues between me and my mum.

This journey started off with Dr Munita individually asking us if we were happy. This question was a simple one but revealed so many emotions and was truly eye opening as I was unaware of the extent of loneliness that my mum was already feeling in her marriage and that my actions only increased those feelings. This first session made us understand that we both deal with issues affecting our mental health on a daily basis and also helped explain partly why we argue and become frustrated with one another.

Dr Munita targeted us individually in this first session, which I myself found very helpful, as by first recognising our own faults this in turn had a positive impact on the relationship.

For example when I told Dr Munita that I feel as if the unhappiness I feel with my A-Levels ‘haunts’ me, she first suggested that I name my personal chimp, and whenever I feel that unhappiness I remember the work I put in to get to the point I am that now, and the most important thing is what I am doing this current moment which gives me so much strength mentally over these negative thoughts.

Naming my chimp had also helped communicate with my mum that I was feeling this way without having to explicitly talk about the situation, which has helped her understand that if i was coming across as irritated, that it was not because of her but because of my exams.

One session where Dr Munita changed the dynamic of me and my mum’s relationship, was the ‘generational differences’ conversation. This was where we explained to Dr Munita the issues and hardships we faced when my grandparents came to stay with us for 2 months.

This sparked the conversation as my mum felt angry about my way of dealing with situations regarding my grandparents and felt that I was being disrespectful and unreasonable.

After this session Dr Munita pointed out how generational patterns and cultures affect our actions, especially with family relationships.

This completely changed and resolved a lot of the issues that we had and my mum realised that I was thinking more practically and was thinking what’s best for the whole house. On her part, she wanted her parents to feel the upmost comfort, which displayed how our both our actions came from meaningful places but that they were just both expressed differently.

I can only say whole heartedly that Dr Munita has been a wonderful addition to my life and has helped break down and take steps to reconstruct the relationship I have with my mum which is truly a priceless gift as this has a significant affect on my mental health and has made me feel so much more comfortable and optimistic with the idea of moving out for university as I know I will now have a strong unbreakable bond with my mum.

Not only has this experience improved our relationship but has made me a more resilient and empathetic individual and is continuing to shape me into a more mature adult.